Friend or Foe?
It gets hard to trust anyone if you can’t even trust yourself. You start looking for proof subconsciously and eventually you get to this very low point. But then you realized that is what you’ve always wanted all along, so how do you trust your proof?
You’re constantly clashing with your “beliefs”. One day you try to provide supplemental proof and the other you’re trying to debunk it.
Today I ran into a few situations that got me into this rabbit hole.
Helping or sabotaging?
In my work, I’ve been helping someone bridge the gap. There’s been a few miscommunications between her and another department. I was assigned to assist and resolve the situation. However, I learned that in another person’s perspective, I was putting this person’s role in danger. In my distorted mind, I hear this person say “she’s trying to take your job, you shouldn’t let her do that”. I truly wasn’t. I only hoped for this person to succeed but am I shining her in a bad light?
Living Up To The Title
C was having issues with her friends. Her friend says she peer pressures others into doing drugs when in reality she was just making poor jokes. All that was needed was communication with each other and the situation didn’t need to escalate. However, the victim decided to tell everyone but C. So was she truly traumatized by the jokes (i.e. lets hotbox with a “im joking” that follows) and feeling peer pressured or was she looking for attention?
In both scenarios, are they a friend or a foe? In the first scenario, the other person could be coming with good intentions of providing this warning. But they could also be falling into the power of gossip and trying to distort the other person’s feelings. But we should always be careful and her word of caution may just be that. In the second scenario, peer pressure is no joke. Maybe someone could feel unsafe with C and so she decided to disclose the information to those she feel safe with. Then it wouldn’t be gossip but just her seeking help.
What determines the correct judgement?
If I lean into the negative, it provides proof that there are no safe place in this world. If I lean into the positive, am I just trying to validate/justify the other person’s action? In therapy, I learn to work through my thoughts with supporting proof. But am I just trying to reach for proof to continue to survive or because it is plausible?
