Every Day Is A Fight

Tonight we fight the urge to drink till you get to the darkness you crave.

That was written last night and I woke up alright. More than alright if I was to measure. I kept my promise to B on having a movie morning. Everything was okay but I did start feeling unwell by the second horror movie we watched. She’s been on a horror binge and I wanted to keep her company. To be honest, I’m not too sure it was my trigger but it is possible. I knew I always had a preference to comedy but I never thought watching movies could make me spiral.

It is 3:35PM and it feels like the day is stuck in a bad movie. The sky is gloom with a tad of sun and nothing feels real. The world just looks different. And it makes me panic. I’ve been trying to breathe for the last 30 minutes but I feel like I can’t catch a good breathe. I feel heat in my back. Tingles in my face. Pressure behind my eyes. I look around and there’s a bit of a blur. My eyes have to keep moving because if it stops, I want to give in to zoning out. Certain body part twitches. I feel hungry but I don’t want to eat. I just want to sit and stare.